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After years of hard work and anticipation, it is all coming to fruition. Many of you have been following the Birthstone Truth blogs and posts since 2012 and I appreciate this so much. There is a complete study and discussion started on Patreon if you would like to join. The EPJ Patreon can be found here:  www.Patreon.com/Evil_Pawn_Jewelry 

There is also a book that is in its last stages that will be released soon. Stay tuned to this blog, Instagram, or Patreon for complete details. 

The truth behind birthstones mimics the same truth of everything we see in the modern world. That truth is; everything is a watered-down version of what it once was. From every piece of knowledge we learn, the literature we read, extended to all we see, consume, and breath. Carbon copies of originals. No matter how authentic we live, there isn’t much that is how it was. It is now, what it has become. Nothing stays the same, everything changes and not always for the better. Birthstones are no exception. 

Over the years I have seen so many truths about the minerals of the Earth suffocated by machine jewelry store chain corporations and the internet’s fast-paced copy and paste game of telephone. So many truths blurred and knowledge taken from people, all for profit. I honestly feel like our True Birthstones and the knowledge of them have been drowned in the sea of the forgotten. There was a time when your birthstone had to do with your astrological sign and it corresponded to metaphysical properties that you would need in your lifetime pertaining to your chart. I know many people do not want to hear this but the birthstone you grew up knowing is most likely not the one assigned to you through your birthright. Some signs have two or three stones and even more stones after those follow on our Birthplate. One stone is actually assigned according to the location of birth! There is a row pertaining to siblings born before you if any, a stone according to which part of the month you are born, and so many more details beyond that. 

If you look deep into the recent history of birthstone assignment, you will find some seriously startling information about the newest lineup of birthstones. They were made up off of sales statistics and marketing strategy. Just a tool to make the old world ways profitable, as always, but profitable after changed to fit what the stores can offer. When stones were not widely available, another color or manmade version was offered. Usually, by manufacturing laboratories, the chain corporations had some sort of interest in. At one point dyes and enhancements were offered to get the desired birthstone. Eventually, the stones were just all together changed. June was given a pearl because of a huge pearl boom coming from new cultured pearls. When a “new stone” was available it was assigned a month. Then when it was mined out or mined thin, a new stone was assigned. These wise marketing magicians even used knowledge of higher birth rates to predict which stone they would assign to what month. This marked the truest beginnings of fast fashion and marketing strategies. 

Many specific mines are being picked clean as we speak, I am betting the most current line up will be changed again in about 20 years max. I do not like that powerful jewelry chain corporations have changed what they wanted to manipulate the market. To many in this field, it isn’t held sacred because many do not believe in any correspondence regarding stones and a person’s birth. I believe a person can believe what they wish, but I also believe the old ways should not be rearranged and reassigned for sales purposes. If the stone is rare or just harder to find in that region, so be it. A person can decide if they want it or not. 

When it comes to your birthstones, yes stones plural, remember that your birth month and sign are two different things. You have a stone for your month and sign. A stone for the Decan your actual birthdate falls under, and then many more stones that make up your “Birthplate” but your True Birthstones are the stones corresponding with your month and Zodiac. 

These rings were made with all of these things into consideration. Using the Zodiac as default and making sure the actual month surrounding the zodiac is included. 

The following applies: 

Gemini- Agate, Moonstone, and Yellow Cat’s Eye. 

Cancer- Onyx, Moonstone, and Emerald. 

Leo- Sardonyx, Onyx, and Carnelian. 

Virgo- Chrysolite, Brown Zircon, Carnelian, and Aquamarine.

Libra- Opal, Aquamarine, Carnelian, and Pearl. 

Scorpio- Golden Topaz, Pearl, and Blue Topaz. 

Sagittarius-Bloodstone, Turquoise, and Lapis Lazuli.

Capricorn- Two Garnets and a Ruby.  

Aquarius- Amethyst, Hyacinth, and Pearl. 

Pisces- Jade, Jasper, Bloodstone, and Aquamarine. 

Aries- Bloodstone, Quartz, Turquoise, and Amethyst. 

Taurus- Agate, Emerald, Jade, and Malachite.

Stay tuned for more on Patreon and an upcoming book. If you wish to hop on the mailing list concerning the book, please sign up on the bottom left side of the Home Page on the website. I am overwhelmed by all of you that have signed up for notifications. I literally could not believe it when I saw how many were waiting. I am filled with gratitude. I appreciate all of the kindness and support! 

This is an introduction to Animal Symbolism. I will extend further into twenty-seven posts about this topic on Patreon. I can be found on Patreon at www.Patreon.com/Evil_Pawn_Jewelry

One of the top questions I am asked is, “How do I find my spirit animal?” I always cringe a little inside when I hear the phrasing. I always ask people if they wouldn’t mind saying power animal, or even better, “How do I learn to read the messages of the animal world?” Or “How do I understand the self?”

There are so many reasons I ask people to use the correct terminology. The first reason is, being that there are many Indigenous American cultures that have sacred traditions regarding a “spirit animal” that is meant for their family and their tribe’s protection and spirituality. These sacred traditions go back to the beginning of their people’s bloodlines. Seeing that these traditions have been coined “Spirit Animal” during colonization and their cultures have been appropriated into a watered-down imitation of their sacred teachings at just an internet search. Isn’t it understandable to use an appropriate term that separates what you would like to learn about animals and the self from their personal inherited spirituality? The symbolism of the animal world has been oddly lumped together with specific pieces of Indigenous American culture. It has formed into this strange internet phenomenon. When Googling the meaning of your “Spirit Animal” please know that this is some weird, new world, pop culture trend. The majority of these websites use a “cold reading” template for making the pieces fit, then they package it in an Indigenous American wrapping paper and a bright red bow, complete with a feather and a bear paw print. This is highly offensive. Can you see why it can be quite upsetting to Natives when seeing something like that? If we wish to obtain great knowledge, we must first obtain empathy and understanding for all the people of the world.

There are different contrast across tribes and different terms that cannot be lumped together into one prepackaged outfit. Not every tribe is the same and that should be remembered. Not all of them have the same specific traditions that others do. In just one instance, the “Spirit Animal” is referred to as a “totem” that an entire clan shares. The totem is their overall guide for the life of every person in the clan. When a person in the clan dies, their spirit is absorbed into the animal. This is just one variation. Just one. So you can see why it is upsetting for a person of Indigenous heritage to see someone wearing a shirt that says, “Coffee is my Spirit Animal” among other examples. A “Spirit Animal” is not something you want or already consciously possess. It is not even something that is “like you” in these areas. Internet trends have you fooled. It is so important to not only be respectful of people’s family and heritage but to make sure you fully understand what you are getting into with Animal Medicine and Symbolism. Please look at the truth behind some of these prepackaged deliveries that come across our screens with just a google search.

Now you may be asking, “Can I still use this practice?” In my personal opinion, if it is about someone else’s family and personal heritage or a variation that was invented by some weird Guru, I say no. If it is about a world heritage of animal symbolism? Then I say yes. Making sure to learn the truth of animal symbolism and not appropriate a heritage. There are even a few practices in other cultures that are similar BUT they are not interchangeable. They are also NOT called “Spirit Animal” under any circumstance. This term is for the Indigenous people of the Americas. The terminology used should always be out of respect. We must respect all human beings and care about them when they are being hurt, used, or misunderstood. A great step further would be to learn more about your heritage’s relationship with animal guides and the self. Every culture in the world has some practice involving symbolic language and the ‘self’ but they are ALL different. I am going to cover every single one still on record and known in this age. Yep, you read that right, I am going to cover every single one because I want you to know about your people and the heritage that may have been taken from you. When people have been wiped of their own cultures, it may cause them to take from others, or to latch on to trends. A lot of times unknowing until a shift reveals this problematic and very real phenomenon. I am hoping this will help pull people away from the imitation “Spirit Animal” culture that now exists on the internet. It is not Indigenous Spirituality. It is stolen pieces from scared Indigenous traditions. I also want you to remember, the trends on the internet with spirit animals, are coming at the expense of Indigenous Americans. It must stop.

If you wish to actually become a student in Indigenous American spirituality, it is important to find an Indigenous elder that is willing to teach you. Asking their blessing and permission is a huge start and compensating them for their teachings is a must in such a setting. They may not want to teach you everything. Be ok with that. Also, understand that if a tribal elder says no, they wish not to teach or tell their family medicine to you, respect this. Pay them for their time and be ok with what they felt. I must stress again, it is important to compensate elder spiritual leaders for their time, many reservations are impoverished. There are many that do not even have running water. A great injustice in itself. Be respectful of these elders, they are of such a great people. The land you walk on is made from their ancestors.

Furthermore, I study all Animal Symbolic systems but actually only follow my family’s way. I believe it is important to be educated about others. Learning the basics is ok, practicing is completely different. (Note I said basics. Their personal family heritage is only for their family and a chosen few.) When you know about other people’s cultures, in a fundamental way, you can know when someone else is being abused or taken advantage of. You can be an ally to help Indigenous communities when someone is teaching the paths that appropriate and hurt them.

In this series, I have written about all of the different types of Animal Symbolism in the world, to help people understand a few things: I want people to understand that what they are subscribing to with online trends is not what Indigenous Spirituality is. I want them to see how it cherry-picks, mislabels, appropriates, and abuses a whole group of people and their traditions. Through this understanding, people can learn the lost ways of their own true cultures that were colonized and erased. Helping people find themselves and understand that they may think the colonization of some has nothing to do with them but it actually has to do with everyone. I want to point out the rich textures of this earth’s antiquity and the stolen history of the world’s people. If we start to understand the differences between each region’s Animal Symbolism, we can make sure that misinformation isn’t running Google, and even if it is… we can make sure not to partake in it. Education is the answer. Compassion and empathy for others is the key.

In the first blog in this series will cover as many overall geographical heritage masses as possible. Then list names for sections of these areas. I am going to talk about what happened when Europe was Christianized. Many of the European Tribes lost their tribal heritage and their own spirituality when the Romans colonized the land. This will not be a bash fest on Christians or the descendants of Rome. This is a reclaiming of the pre-Christianized beliefs pertaining to animal symbolism on all continents. In the blogs to follow I have also written inserts about each area of the world that has been colonized. This will not be only about Europe, this is where we are beginning because this is where it started. Again, there will not be any bashing of any human alive today. I believe in leading with kindness and understanding. There are subjects we did not learn in school and it is time they saw more light. I will also include a large section that my Grandmother taught me about and family knowledge about our own personal heritage.

The study will cover each of the Tutelary Deities that spread all over Europe and then how their “removal” spread outward from there. Then I will give smaller region examples and site examples left in historical documents about specific tribes of Europe. Most will be corroborated documents, some by Piny and Tacitus because they did seem to be very unbiased in their documenting.

A few outlined examples: The Celts actually called their animal relationships ‘Aisling.’ They dreamed while they were awake and asleep to communicate with animals. They also read their omens together in their family’s sacred circle. Dreams were respected and followed as a life source to the whole community.

In addition to the Tutelary Deities, I will cover the totem animals of the Elder Goddesses and Gods. In Northern European Norse traditions they were called Fylgjur. All pantheons of the old world (in every culture) have their own animal helpers that aid, send messages, and bring back messages.

In Old Norse culture, The Fylgja itself is the animal spirit of the person and it is the spiritual self. These animal spirits sometimes died with the person it was tied to and other times stayed with the family. There are also terms that pertained to the entire tribe’s Fylgja and the family’s Fylgja. In turn, this is how many families adopted animals as their family sigil or crest after colonization. A way to keep their sacred traditions, even long after their descendants forgot.

My Grandmother specifically taught me about Fetch Dreaming. This is about spirits that are just in animal shape, bringing messages. She also taught me about Ornithomancy, which will be covered extensively. My Grandmother’s people called their ways, ‘Animal Speak’ and looking closely at the overall practice of animal speak, it is tied to a Tri-racial group from the Appalachia that migrated into the Ozarks. This happened when cultures collided and then blended about 300 years ago. I will discuss this thoroughly as well. This is one side of my family and it is important to discuss because its traditions are dying out. I have been endlessly documenting these traditions over the last 16 years. There will be specific areas outside of European cultures I will discuss in-depth, but only the areas I have personal family ties to. I will depend on others from cultures I am not akin to, in the exploration of regions that do not pertain to my heritage. These collaborations have come out of respect and solidarity.

These are countless examples that I will cover in this series. After the series, you will still have so much to learn, but hopefully, you will be set in the right direction. I aim to clear a path for you. I will stress that the use of the term “Spirit Animal” is not to be used by anyone that is not Indigenous. What many of these websites are selling you is not even remotely Indigenous spirituality, but they have stolen pieces of a scared heritage that is not their own. As I have said for years, it is very important to listen to elders and read books. The worldwide web isn’t so reliable for information. Reading truly is fundamental. That being said, I will have a large book list available with this series. Any area that I do not have personal family knowledge of, will not be covered extensively. Instead, I will provide a short foundation that is fundamental and aided by people of the said culture, and then recommend a book written by a person that is from that respected culture. I believe that understanding a person or a group of people will give way to empathy. It is important to understand why what is happening to these cultures sparks upset, anger, and mistrust. As a person with a multicultural heritage, I hope I could try to be one of many to unite all of the pieces of me and all of the people I belong to. Hopefully, I could try to be a bridge that can help unite these broken roads. All of us can learn so much by listening, respecting, and understanding. Solidarity is the world’s only hope.

Thank you for reading this post. Many Bright Blessings.

Many times you will find the internet to be one of two things; your best friend or your worst enemy. There is never an in-between. The same goes for the never-ending yarn ball of information about crystal properties. I have never been so puzzled in my life. Many websites are “copy and paste” models from ten other websites that are the living embodiment of misinformation about crystal properties. There are amazing crystal writers that I love but if you google them, you will find that websites will slap the names of these trusted sources under paragraphs they did not write. I suggest always going to the trusted author’s website or using their books as guides.

I wanted to blog about Quartzite because this is one of the most misunderstood and misrepresented crystals. The full blog about Quartzite and many extended blogs can be found on my Patreon. www.Patreon.com/Evil_Pawn_Jewelry

Many of my write-ups take a lot of time, so last year I started a Patreon for familiar and unfamiliar areas of old-world knowledge, crystal metaphysical properties, the directional wearing of jewelry, stone eating, Moonwater, Earth Medicine, Plant Medicine, Ancestor Medicine, Coin Divination, sneak peeks, and inserts of my upcoming books. (Yes books plural. I have written several on each of these subjects over the years) Please visit Patreon for Info posts, promo codes, giveaways, and more.

Thank you so much for reading my blogs! Stay tuned for more blogs and extended versions on Patreon. I appreciate all of your support! 

Sweet sleep is a sweet treat that not all of us are privileged to just have magically occur. There are so many types of sleep requests that flood the message airways and each crystal remedy is very specific to those specific needs. This is why the internet is pouring with so many different answers for crystals to aid sleep. Some people want to dream, others want to end nightmares, some want to put an overactive mind to bed so they can follow suit, and these “types” of sleep requests go on and on. This is why crystal recommendations really do not work. I recommend taking a different view of this area. This area is called, “Stone Sleeping.” Once you understand stone sleeping, it is easier to add crystals to your bedside to aid you in your specific needs. The foundation of Stone Sleeping starts with Howlite and Agate. What type of Agate? I recommend Enhydro Agate. These are the only two stones you need to begin. These stones are your foundation, that you will build, to your house of sleep. The house building exercise will be very similar to crystal griding but that will come later. First I want to talk a little about Howlite and Enhydro Agate. 

Howlite energy, just like its aesthetic, has a soft chalky embrace. Drawing out a hand to calm restless energy, help untether insomnia, weariness, and to help you understand your own way of unraveling the knotted yarn of jaded feelings towards life. Its calming presence mutes specific types of drama. The drama that lingers inside us long after it has dissipated. Cooling the burning fires of anxiety that plays on what we cannot change while clipping the wings of those overactive minds that continue to play out scenarios like they can be changed after they have been played out in time. The best place for howlite is in the ears but wearing it on the left hand and arm can draw these sweet things near. This is only the tip of Howlite, this is what hoplite is when it sleeps. 

Enhydro Agate is a dissolver of resentment and a banisher of seeds that grow nightmares. Not Nightmares themselves can be banished with this stone alone but Enhydro Agate can clip them before they grow. This stone connects to the minds rivers, oceans, and lakes. A stone that sinks to the bottom and rises to the top. This stone is better to be put under your bed or in between the mattress. When you close your eyes, enhydro agate opens. 

Together these two stones are a foundation. The first chapter of Stone Sleeping. 

The next chapters will be posted on Evil Pawn Jewelry’s Patreon page.

Crystal Speak begins and ends with Clear Quartz. The Crystal Sphere that tells us the answers, the healing power from a Shaman bag, the protection of a talisman, the communication with a guide, the animal medicine song, the elder god’s staff, …

These are all conversations of the Crystal. These are the vocal sounds of the Crystal when they speak. 

Mother Earth bleeds and this blood coagulates. Like water freezes to heal and renew the land; the blood becomes solid and all the cells stand still. This is Quartz Crystal. The clotted blood of the goddess. The frozen power of the crystalline world. 

A tree’s life is similar to a quartz, but a quartz will be here much longer. They mimic the frozen water, they blaze the rainbow fire, they hold the ancient air spirits, they are solar energy, they are of the earth, they are the amplifiers of all energy, they are the keepers of messages, and they hold the records of the time before. 

All is a circle; a beginning will become an ending.  What you believe is the past will soon again come around and be the future. All cycles in a circle. All rotates around the crystalline.  

In such a cycle, the Moon gains and sheds, like all that is above and below. When the Moon is on an increase, there is a magnetic pull, this in itself will give you the advantage. This is the time to scry, ask the spirits, find guides, and listen to the call of the crystal. 

With great change comes Clear Quartz, it coincides with The Tower, the 16th Major Arcana Card. Quartz is used for stimulating the Crown Chakra but resonates high with the whole chakra system. The Crown Chakra is tied to our way of thinking and what we know based on our perception and experience in this world. To help enlighten a person or yourself that has been wrapped in negative thinking, feed a quartz and dedicate it specifically for your Crown chakra. Do not use it for anything else. Let this Quartz help you maintain thinking that has to do with light. 

Quartz concentration can be accomplished by many different methods. You can bury it in dirt and dig it back up, use Full Moon Water, ice cold water, lake or ocean water, and the most effective method, blood. That being said, if you wish to use blood, use your own. Animals are not here for your personal power gain. Any who harm an animal as such, may they remember it in their marrow and recognize it when it strikes back like a snake. Animal medicine is complex and not for the unskilled. No Animal Medicine weaver harms animals for their spiritual gain. No exception.  

Quartz is the known funeral object of the old world, being set in graves since the dawn of time. Its power also holds place emotionally as well as physically. You can give a crystal all that does not serve you and bury it. This is best done on Last Quarter. 

The shapes of a Quartz were always important and specific to the rite. Every Birthplate has a crystal at the last position representing the exit from this place and the beginning in the new. 

Quartz is a key center of concentration dedicated to freezing specific people in your life from taking your energy. Some call this a “Prescription Cast” or a “Cold Shoulder.” Regardless, you do not need a real Quartz for this, just the suggestion of a quartz in your mind and the freezing of water. Even the thought of a quartz has energy.  (I will explain this in a Patreon Post)

Quartz is a Gem of Winter, added with the winter Jade, together they both can summon secrets from the deep. Quartz has a specific purpose with every single stone on this planet and can effect a whole bundle with it’s addition or absence in the bag. Clear Quartz is the most combined crystal with the most wide range of uses. Quartz is also the most programmable stone in existence. It can enhance stones with crystal grids and charge stones that need an alarm clock. Some stones are prone to sleeping. Wake them up with Clear Quartz. 

Quartz has a profound effect on steel. This is why I often use crushed granulated quartz in steel casting. The effects are profound. 

Quartz is an all around energy amplifier; since the dawn of our civilization it has been used as such. This is also why it is always combined with goal setting stones. 

Pertaining to the 7 Crystal Systems, there is so much more to see within a Quartz. The shapes in each type of crystal adhere to a symbolic language. The shape of the crystal system inside of clear quartz makes it a Seeker Transformer. Putting you on the path to find your true purpose and helping you sail to a place where living that purpose will become your reality. 

Not to forget specific types of Quartz Crystals for example, Dow, Faden, Record Keepers, Elestial, Lemurian, Teacher Quartz, EarthKeeper, and the list goes on and on. This is all for another post. I did go into some detail in a Social Media post on Facebook and IG from 2013. I will try to find it and link it when I can. 

Manmade shapes such as Skulls, Merkabas, Vogels, hearts, wands, etc. all have their place as well. I will explain more about this in another post. 

In the world of crystals there are a few different stones that are considered “Living Stones.” Each of these stones live so differently, they are not in the same category. For instance, a Jade breaths water and dies for several generations. A Quartz lives always but opens its eyes and takes a single breath every few hundred years. The messages it gives to its many holders are through its dreams. They sleep like the elder gods and rest until the end arrives. 

Whether it be fairly clear, included, kissed by a rainbow, or shaped by a hand; it is of all. The base principle is colorless but all color, the loudest of silence, the living rock that never eats without being fed and never sleeps without dreaming, the unmeltable ice of the Earth. The properties and lore of Quartz is so undeniably vast that this world alone cannot contain its knowledge. So it stretches out to other places and when you touch it you can connect with other places that you could never exist in physically. As we are deliquescent, we aim to become crystalline. As the cycle continues…. Crystal Speak begins and ends with Clear Quartz.

There are days of the week I leave the house in the dark. The earliest of morning. I am not unlike many other people in doing so. 

Yesterday was a Monday morning and I went for a run at the gym. Walking up to the steps, like many women, I have my car key between my knuckles. Equipped with my arsenal of defense ready; no cellphone in front of my face with all eyes piercing every corner. 

Leaving the gym it was still dark, I get my key ready for the journey to my car. I look to the right then to the left of the doorway, I cautiously make my way down the few steps to the ground level. On each side of the stair’s end, like guards posted, waits two large bushels of beautiful ornament grass. 

I quickly look to both sides to make sure my journey to the car stays solo. As I make my way through the clear path, I hear nothing, but I feel a presence behind me. I turn faster than I can think and there it was… walking from out of nowhere and then sitting at the top of the stairs. A beautiful black cat. I say, “Hello baby!” He looks like my dear Didymus, he looks majestic and regal, although I can’t see his eyes. He takes some steps closer and stops to sit, then repeats. Suddenly I understand, “Go! I’ve got you!” I smile and thank him. I get in my car and look to catch the last glimpse of that beautiful cat, but he’s gone. I felt so safe and looked after. She watches over her daughters. 

The Heart of Foresight is Labradorite, what is to come can be projected through its chambers. There are many crystals that deal with different aspects of Foresight, but Labradorite deals with the foresight of the heart. The Spirit’s path that awaits. The Northern night sky air, set afire in the form of Aurora Borealis, scorching a permanent reflection in stone. Labradorite has mystified since the moment it was first seen by human eyes. The lore about this stone could fill its own book and honestly, that is something I intend on fulfilling.

The fortune-teller, the bone reader, the card shuffler, the wind waver, the water witch should all wear labradorite and always program it under a New Moon energy. Those who seek answers always come from the heart side of foresight. So the labradorite is cast. The hand that holds prophecy should also wave Labradorite. In turn, also a stone of the night, giving us prophetic dreams and working for us best in the nighttime. I have never gone to a show or a nighttime event without.

The draw of labradorite, for me, is the way it becomes a shield. The stone of the Empath, guarding our energies like a hard shell of impenetrable armor protecting the body. I always have worn Labradorite into public places. It keeps us safe from all that wishes to attach itself to us. This is because the Labradorite falls under a unique cross combination of “barrier” and “Filter” crystal systems. Its ultimate power as a talisman is to protect you from the negative and give you a better perspective. 

The labradorite is a great combination stone and can be webbed with over 16 other stones for energy shifting. One of my favorite combinations is crossing Labradorite with Smoky Quartz. If you are ever feeling exhausted mentally or have too much on your mind; combine these two for some clarity and peace of mind. Attuned with Amber, it can be used to heal old family wounds by way of communications through dreams with family members that have passed. A healing of the mental, emotional, and physical all intertwine from this union. 

This stone has a special power on the weekend that no other stone has. Labradorite naturally filters energy like anxiety or any needless emotion. Usually, people harness anticipation for the weekend all week long. During the week the excess energy is accumulated and always peeks on late Friday. I highly suggest wearing this stone every Saturday of your life if possible. The mountains you will climb!

Labradorite is the master stone at filtering unneeded energy and using it for fuel. Nurturing inspiration, accumulating knowledge, and creating new ideas. All recycled from what does not serve you. Like the New Moon that birthed it, Labradorite removes your old skin, making way for the new growth and glow ahead. It is what is to come. It is the heart of Foresight. 

I am overdue for an update pertaining to my book releases. First off I want to thank every single person that has emailed in asking about dates. Not only do we get emails daily, but we get more emails about this than jewelry! I also want to thank everyone who signed up to the mailing list for release date notifications. I am floored by how many of you have signed up. I am teary-eyed as I write this post. So much gratitude! 

I know I haven’t posted for some time about this topic, I know I am long overdue. I promise I will have a release date before the year is up. Several months back I posted that I was having trouble with my publisher suggesting I leave specific things out. Not in an “Editing” type of way, but more so as to “sell me” in a different light than I am. I have no desire to do that. As many of you know I had a tv show that tried to do that after they promised they wouldn’t. I declined after I signed and it wasn’t pretty. Over a few months and even most recently, I have had “incidents” where I was in other people’s spaces and was respectfully quiet about certain things. I played parts of different people that the hosts or other guests would enjoy. Engaging in small talk and dying small deaths by each word. I sometimes feel like I have been hiding for many millennia. Dare I leave my hut for a walk by the lake? Dear gods of Olympus, do I ever despise small talk! I am really bad at it. I am also a respectful person when space is not mine. So, in the hut I stay; clanking around mumbling to myself, those words keep me up at night. Some of my occult & “people peeling” convo is not so enjoyable in mixed company and it can leave people less thrilled with what can be conjured. Not that it is any doing of mine. The demons we face in the belly of anxiety are conjured only by ourselves. 

My publisher gave me many gems of advice and they know what they are talking about. It’s just that I am not interested in being popular. I’m far too removed from any youthful trappings of needful acceptance. I am also far too experienced with the backhand of Father Time to be in any hurry. I know it has been 5 years since I officially announced it but to me, it has been a blink. The Sleight of hand can make you believe anything and I too am sometimes fooled into believing I have time. Even if I don’t make the finish line the way I wanted… What does it truly matter when we are all just trivial ripples in the water. Sometimes, I get powerful in my wingspan and think I can change the course of the whole stream with my feathered flaps. If little ripples were large birds, I would win a medal every day on the river. We will see. 

I have posted many quotes that my publisher has offered to me in hopes of finding ideas and open avenues from you. They have said that they will have trouble marketing my books. I don’t care about how many people read them, I care about the right people reading them. I do understand that a publisher has to think in terms of staying in business. They are not bad or wrong to think this. Problem is, it isn’t my thought process. I have always been the one to tell everyone,  “Close your eyes and jump”… when people show me hesitation, I jump first. So statements jetted to me on the air of an email like, “Some occult subjects that aren’t easily categorized and can be problematic.” or “Some of this could go either way. It’s not occult enough or too intense.” and “this is why we can only publish 5 of your 13 books…” The main one was my 10 volume set on Animal Medicine. This is why I said last year it most likely will never see the light of day. I was told that it is too heavy and in-depth. They wanted me to water it down to one book. This would leave too much out. They said, “People don’t read like that.” If someone wants to learn about something, I mean really learn, you must read like that. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for all publishers and I understand why they do what they do. Since so many of you are waiting, I like to let you know about the process. At this point, I am trying to make sure things do not get watered down. I want to I bring these things to you, to open your mind to how things are presented to you. Larger and Large companies use strategic categorizing and planning to bring to you what you see. I wish they would just publish it and let it be. No need to make it pretty. Those who are looking will find it.