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I am beyond broken. My darling Nicodemus has crossed the Rainbow Bridge. I cannot really imagine how I will navigate this world without him.

When they sedated him, suddenly, it began to snow. When he left, it stopped. We wrapped him up for his burial, and the sun came out. The rays shined down right on him and the table he was lying on. He seemed to glow. I have never believed in coincidence, even as a child. It all has purpose, in order to give purpose. It is all about our becoming. Nothing comes without struggle and pain. Too many seek only pleasure and the endless loop of the pleasure principle. The dullest of lives are painless. Without the sharp edges, life has no point. 
Pointless. Lifeless.
Without the shadow, the sketch is just a blank page. 
Blank. Lifeless.

When I look out the window, I keep thinking I see him coming home from his grave. I also see him through the corner of my eye at every turn. As I have always said, self-destruction is so alluring. Don’t you think? 

I replay his call, “Come see me… come find me,” and he would come running. Now only a blank space.

I keep thinking of his fur markings, in fear I will forget. I can’t wash my clothes from the last time I held him.

I closed my eyes and saw Freyja pick him up. He got into her chariot, and she flew away. He went to the back and watched me as he went into the clouds. Like a child in the back of a car window. Eyes that wave goodbye.

We are all physical manifestations of our soul’s stage, and animals are no different. We must never differentiate animals from ourselves and our own personal selves from each other.

I was sure the point of conjure to my inner death took place eons ago on some star far from the beginning of this place. It must have resurrected somewhere in the space of time from then to now because I felt myself die inside when he took his last breath. Yet existence continues on, screaming into the sleeping ear of an elder god. I am not disillusioned about death and the need for it. I know that his energy is still here and that all lives on after the shedding of the mortal coil. It’s just an egotistical primitive echo to want all things to stay and all things to stay the same. But the only constant is change. Again existence spirals on. 

Death is not the end. It is only a door. Where ever the door opens to… my dear Nicodemus… “Come find me.” 

Nicodemus Furman TigerMan Platypus Papayas Cantrell
2005 (vet birth year estimation) – March 17th, 2023. 

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Vedas and Oval Rings in Sodalite

The Veda Necklaces and the Boann Rings in Sodalite are available on the website! I am so in awe of these beautiful violet-blue stones.

The Veda Necklace can be found here:

The Boann Ring can be found here:

These magical chunks were considered high quality, but I do not get into grading systems because I feel like all crystals are relevant. EPJ’s lapidary called me when he got into the each to tell me this was some high grade, and he wanted to buy some off of me or buy the scraps from the cuts as he always does.

This Sodalite has that high-end lush blue-violet color that is sought after. I love all qualities of gems, but I must say, I didn’t have quality in my personal collection because it is rather expensive. I feel so blessed to be able to bring this beauty into my own life and the lives of anyone seeking Sodalite energy.

Sodalite is a Level Two Crystal and a lukewarm crystal spiritually. Like all Level Twos, Sodalite can balance out crystals that are too cold or too hot. My main love of Sodalite comes from the clearing of the clouds that can make your sky gloomy. Those clouds can come in by the state of our world and the people we know who send us dark clouds. Usually, people do not mean to send us dark clouds of resentment, it isn’t really steered toward us, but they do it out of their own dysfunction. Sodalite can help us not make a gloomy day into a gloomy month. This crystal is also helpful to writers when they are trying to remove the “film” of the world and open a place of purity to express themselves. Sometimes we have a lot of things sticking to us, and Sodalite is ready to clear us of all the things that are weighing us down. All of the things that cloud our vision.

Sodalite is a journaling buddy for me always. A way to peel away the world’s influences and see the center of the matter. I highly recommend this crystal for writing and communication.

For more about Sodalite, crystal meanings, and Crystal Levels, check out EPJ’s Patreon!

For the Crystal Familiar Book One, please see this link:

Thank you so much for reading EPJ’s blog! Many Bright Blessings!

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Thank You

I want to thank you all for the overwhelming support of my latest book about my Grandmother and Ozark lore. I have been taken aback by the kindness sent to me during this process. Looking at my Grandmother’s life through an adult lens has been so therapeutic and revealing. There was and is a time currently when women from all backgrounds had little control over aspects of their lives. Many families turned to magickal workings passed down through time or learned the work in their current lives to try to grasp control of what wasn’t given to them. History has made it out to be devilish or menacing, but in reality, it was a need for personal freedom. My Grandmother was shy and meek if you didn’t know her. Her personal life seemed to be very centered around gaining control, and that included magic. This was amplified for her after my Grandfather passed. There were many ways that he forged paths for her to have the most freedom she had ever had in her life. 

My Grandmother was denied access to spaces in this world right at the entry or peace within after being granted admission. Shortly after my Grandparents were married, my Grandmother was denied access to a place she desired to enter. The 50s and 60s were not easy places for women to navigate. When this happened, my Grandfather would swoop in and save her. She once told me these were the best years of her life because, in her mind, she felt free. This all came crashing down when my Grandfather passed. She raised some fires that seemed to catch the sky aflame. The more she was told no, the more she searched for new paths to take her where she needed to go. Her ancestral ties to Rootworking were her comfort and sanctuary. Many Bright Blessings to all that took the time to read her story. 

“Tell them all about me. Let me live long after I am gone because I won’t be coming back. I am going to some planet where all the spaceships come from.” – Veda

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Evil Pawn Jewelry’s 20th Anniversary

Today, 20 years ago, Evil Pawn Jewelry was born. At the time, everyone in my trade told me it could not be done. The internet hadn’t become a “thing” like now. I had people tell me that it would never work with a name like “Evil Pawn Jewelry” because of the word “evil.” I really thought that people would read the bio without prejudice. LOL! The first item on the website was the Cameo Skull, and the description talked about the metaphysical properties of the materials and the talisman nature of the symbolic language. People told me I was crazy.

I worked fairs and sold jewelry at highway gas stations. Until a friend told me about eBay. (Etsy wasn’t a company yet) so I decided to put some of my pieces on eBay with zero expectations. Sold the items I had put up within the first hour. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t have to drive all over the highway systems in the Midwest to collect my commissions from gas stations. I didn’t have to do three fairs in a week around my regular job. What it is? Yes, I have to ship the items, but what just happened?

Shortly after that, the EPJ website was constructed, and I used Live Journal, Friendster, and eventually My Space to talk about the lines. I think back to those days and am in a daze over the whole becoming of the internet. Then Facebook and IG sent everyone spiraling.

I remember one of my friend’s calling me and saying, “you have 188k followers on My Space?! WTF?” and my reply was, “Who are they? Where did they all come from? How will I ever learn all of their names?” EPJ was a part of a group of designers that were among the first to bring action against a large company for ripping our designs. We were among that group of small businesses to have big magazines think we were cool. Each and every one of us was sitting in shock daily. Calling each other and sending text in caps… “WHAT IS HAPPENING?!” We were all just literally riding the wave, and true, that wave was given to us with the rise of the internet, but it does not mean all of these small businesses didn’t work so hard behind the scenes.

The internet has changed a lot since then, a lot. It saddens me that so many small companies are being waterlogged by large companies and washed up to shore. I have seen so many businesses close over this period of time due to the hardships of small business. I am grateful that EPJ is still here. Will I go on forever? No. But for now, EPJ is here. Thank you life, and Happy Anniversary to EPJ!

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Things My Grandmother Taught Me Book Release

Over the past 20 years, I have posted stories that my Grandmother told me throughout childhood in blog and post form via the internet. These stories always had a reason, a lesson, or underlining truth that would reveal itself more and more with each year. These stories were her speak. My Grandma and I started to document them in 2006, and my outlines of childhood recall became more detailed with her help.

Unfortunately, she passed away in 2010 before the book was complete. Through research and investigation, I finished this book in 2016. It was satisfying to see this goal because it was not only my goal but also my Grandmother’s goal. Even with this incredible feat, I didn’t feel it was complete. I felt like she was calling me to complete one final task for her. I knew I needed to connect with her family members, who were the beginning of her story. Her personal Chapter One that I had not fully seen with my eyes. So much became clear when I connected with these ties; the dots also connected like star constellations in the sky. Stories were her salvation. They were metaphors for secrets and recipes for magic spells.

My Grandmother was such a unique human. She was more than amazing; she was one of my favorite people. I saw her as a Demi-Goddess. Her stories from her isolated upbringing in the Ozarks and the spark of magic she possessed in her eyes were all the wonder I ever needed as a child. Her human experience was multi-faceted and played a soundtrack of many hardships. Her spiritual experience was her truth, and she struggled to find her magical song in a world made of anti-magic. She always said, “I wish people understood me as you did.” It is time Grandma, time the world saw you through my eyes.

Things My Grandmother Taught Me is available at this link below:

Thank you to all of you that loved my Grandmother and loved following her stories over the years. She always loved your comments and kept all the cards you sent to her. All of you made her last years on this plane a very bright and sunny time. Her favorite kind of day… hot, sunny, and so very warm. Many Bright Blessings to all of you.

“Tell them all about me. Let me live long after I am gone because I won’t be coming back. I am going to some planet where all the spaceships come from.” – Veda

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Empowerment Series. Resolve.

Most of you know that I am a cultivator of dreams. Most of my friends have had to endure long speeches of encouragement for all the things they want to accomplish. The more they think it’s impossible, the more I brainstorm possibilities for it. I’ve made full-on outlines and written up business plans for people because I believe that when people dream greatness for themselves, our world arrives on a shore of plenty.

I have always been told that I am a bit of a dreamer, and I am ok with that. There was a time when all of my hoped personal and business accomplishments were an eye roll in another person’s head. Let them have their opinions and continue on, my friends.

My little company will celebrate its 20-year anniversary next month, I somehow released another book, and I have a great family and some seriously amazing friends. Family and true friends are all that really matter in the end, but cultivating them into your own dream and you in theirs is key to manifesting full expansion.

So friends, here I am. Ready to give you the lecture, aka pep talk.

I am not asking you to make a New Year’s Resolution. I am asking you to resolve daily. Hourly. In every present moment. This life is pointless if we do not give it a point. It doesn’t matter how much money you make or what you accumulate. What matters are those little sparks of life that explode within your being when you are doing something that gives you life. Your dreams, hobbies, hopes, wishes, all of it. Even if you can only accomplish this thing on the weekends, you must do it. It is the magic that gives you life.

Negative people will find all kinds of things wrong with this, and some people will be entirely offended that I suggest dreaming in a world that seems so dark. Some will list their rebuttals in the comments, like warfare bullets, and delete me from their world.

This is because we all find arguments from our own dysfunction. We all find ways to kill someone else’s light from our own dysfunction. We kill our own light with our own dysfunction.

In a world of war, constant bitterness, polarity, and death… we must dream. We must teach children to dream. We must calm the sea and put the whole world to sleep for a while. Human beings are creators, and this world makes it hard for many to dream.

It is time to realize yourself and not argue against the things you want. It is time to stop telling others they can’t dream. It is time to tell everyone you know that you believe in them. It is time to tell yourself that you believe in yourself. Remember what this place is, my dear friends. It’s all just a dream, so dream big. Let it spill into your waking life. You’ll never be tired again.

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Drottning Serpent Rings

A few years ago, I was reading about an Iron Age grave with my friend Mia. Within this burial site, there was one that sparked the most interest, it was named The Woman from Himlingøje.

The woman was thought to be a Chieftess or someone of high-ranking authority. Her Earl Rings were a giveaway to this notion, along with the abundant treasures that were buried with her. Green Roman glass, earthly pottery, and bright yellow gold.

Her rings caught my eye, I loved how one Earl Ring had three connected stacks, and the other had two connected stacks. The snakes on her rings were very much like the Iron Age style of Jörmungandr. I loved it, but I was inspired to make my own version. Not just in memory of all the forgotten Chieftess of the old world but all of the forgotten Snake Goddesses that seem to go hand in hand with them.

I wanted the snakes to curve around the finger but still be seen from the top. If you are on my Patreon page, you definitely saw the many trial and errors of that. It wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I have never had more scraped wax molds on any other project.

After so much time thinking about it and working on this project, their manifestation seems to be that of many, many years ago. Instead, we are coming upon three years. Maybe because it is so familiar, the same queens and their snake companions, over and over again.

Let them not be forgotten, to all the Queens, Goddesses, and Common Women of the magical old world. And to all of the serpent guides that found them.

The Drottning Triplet Serpent Rings can be found here:

The Drottning Twin Serpent Rings can be found here:

Thank you for all of your love and support!

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Crystal Familiar

What do you expect when buying a crystal? Did you buy it because you searched for a crystal to save you? Instantly? When you buy a toaster, you open the box and plug it in. When you buy a cell phone, it is new or refurbished therefore; it has been cleared. Then you plug it in to charge, you then turn it on, and program it with all of the apps you wish to use.

People do less with their crystals yet expect far more. They expect magic without even charging, programming, and clearing. They know more about their cell phone capabilities and software than about their crystal’s chemical structure. Yet, instant gratification is expected.

Just buying the gym membership won’t get you the results you want. Buying a guitar does not make you an amazing musician. Buying a deck of tarot cards doesn’t make you a knowledgeable tarot reader. You must work. Something cannot and never has come from nothing.

Yes, the Crystal has an energy and will change or shift your energy when you interact with it. But you must exercise it for the effects to last and amplify. Instant gratification will not come with crystals. Like anything seen in this world, it comes with care, maintenance, learning, and time.

This book has not been written to tell you about what crystals do; it was written to tell you how they work. They are unique relationships tying us to the earth. Friendships that never die. Always loyal, always familiar.

There are two editions of this book available.

The Patreon’s Artist Edition Hardcover Book can still be purchased through Patreon Subscription here:

The Public Softcover Edition can be purchased here:

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Hex Breaker: The Science of Talisman and Amulets

I often see the word “Amulet” next to a beautiful object. Usually a necklace. Usually something grand. Question. Is it truly an amulet? The same can be said for the word “Talisman,” and the same question stands. What is a Talisman? Can it be both? The answer is Yes and No. Most of these times, I have seen these words used; they are misused. In reality, it seems like a “fashionable way” to describe a necklace, but in my humble opinion, it is misleading.

So what is an Amulet? What is a Talisman? And what is the difference? This booklet will describe the difference between the two meanings and the symbols behind The Hex Breaker Amulet series.

Hex Breaker: The Science of Talisman and Amulets Booklet is available here: 

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Skull Baby Update One

We receive messages about Skull Babies daily. They have been off the website since last October, and the main reason was that I was so severely behind. The waitlist was way too long. I am currently just starting to finish up the orders from last October. (Yes, there were that many, and I was that behind) 

Once the website orders are complete, I have a few custom Skull Babies that are in preparation and one that is my besties baby (yes, I am even behind on my besties skull baby)  

I love making them and wondered if I should just make them and then place them on the website. Many of you commented on those posts when I asked for your opinions about how to proceed with them, and I appreciate the feedback.

The main issue is when they get behind, or even if I am in a good place with them… (most people are very patient, some never email in, and some check in once. or twice, no biggie), but there are usually some that are not patient at all. I have had customers email once a week and sometimes more asking when their Skullbaby will be ready. Sometimes bullying a completion date from us. It makes it very stressful. Especially if it isn’t ready by the estimated completion date. A lot of calculation goes into them, and I don’t want to shortcut any of the steps because that is not how I designed them to be created.

I know some people do not care, but I make them with planetary guidance and the movements of the moon. There are certain cycles I refuse to work on them under. I use numerology based on the customer’s name, and every drop of water used in the making of the piece is a moonwater collection. There are so many people that think this is pointless and that do not follow these things; that is ok but realize that some people do. This is how I make them. I refuse to just make them. They are layered and time collected.

So I decided to have a ready version available every other month or so. For customers that want one but do not like the wait. Then I plan on having them on the website again as before to order as a “made when ordered” item. Also, the new Skullbabies will be relaunched in just a few months (after I am completely finished with everyone who has been waiting) The new Skullybabies, or Skullbaby T-5000 as we have been calling them around here, will have a new design and will be available in a necklace and ring selection. I have not decided if I will let custom add-ons be a part of this new release or not. I will keep you posted.

Thank you so much for all of your kind emails and kind comments about this subject.