I want to thank you all for the overwhelming support of my latest book about my Grandmother and Ozark lore. I have been taken aback by the kindness sent to me during this process. Looking at my Grandmother’s life through an adult lens has been so therapeutic and revealing. There was and is a time currently when women from all backgrounds had little control over aspects of their lives. Many families turned to magickal workings passed down through time or learned the work in their current lives to try to grasp control of what wasn’t given to them. History has made it out to be devilish or menacing, but in reality, it was a need for personal freedom. My Grandmother was shy and meek if you didn’t know her. Her personal life seemed to be very centered around gaining control, and that included magic. This was amplified for her after my Grandfather passed. There were many ways that he forged paths for her to have the most freedom she had ever had in her life.
My Grandmother was denied access to spaces in this world right at the entry or peace within after being granted admission. Shortly after my Grandparents were married, my Grandmother was denied access to a place she desired to enter. The 50s and 60s were not easy places for women to navigate. When this happened, my Grandfather would swoop in and save her. She once told me these were the best years of her life because, in her mind, she felt free. This all came crashing down when my Grandfather passed. She raised some fires that seemed to catch the sky aflame. The more she was told no, the more she searched for new paths to take her where she needed to go. Her ancestral ties to Rootworking were her comfort and sanctuary. Many Bright Blessings to all that took the time to read her story.
“Tell them all about me. Let me live long after I am gone because I won’t be coming back. I am going to some planet where all the spaceships come from.” – Veda
Today, 20 years ago, Evil Pawn Jewelry was born. At the time, everyone in my trade told me it could not be done. The internet hadn’t become a “thing” like now. I had people tell me that it would never work with a name like “Evil Pawn Jewelry” because of the word “evil.” I really thought that people would read the bio without prejudice. LOL! The first item on the website was the Cameo Skull, and the description talked about the metaphysical properties of the materials and the talisman nature of the symbolic language. People told me I was crazy.
I worked fairs and sold jewelry at highway gas stations. Until a friend told me about eBay. (Etsy wasn’t a company yet) so I decided to put some of my pieces on eBay with zero expectations. Sold the items I had put up within the first hour. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t have to drive all over the highway systems in the Midwest to collect my commissions from gas stations. I didn’t have to do three fairs in a week around my regular job. What it is? Yes, I have to ship the items, but what just happened?
Shortly after that, the EPJ website was constructed, and I used Live Journal, Friendster, and eventually My Space to talk about the lines. I think back to those days and am in a daze over the whole becoming of the internet. Then Facebook and IG sent everyone spiraling.
I remember one of my friend’s calling me and saying, “you have 188k followers on My Space?! WTF?” and my reply was, “Who are they? Where did they all come from? How will I ever learn all of their names?” EPJ was a part of a group of designers that were among the first to bring action against a large company for ripping our designs. We were among that group of small businesses to have big magazines think we were cool. Each and every one of us was sitting in shock daily. Calling each other and sending text in caps… “WHAT IS HAPPENING?!” We were all just literally riding the wave, and true, that wave was given to us with the rise of the internet, but it does not mean all of these small businesses didn’t work so hard behind the scenes.
The internet has changed a lot since then, a lot. It saddens me that so many small companies are being waterlogged by large companies and washed up to shore. I have seen so many businesses close over this period of time due to the hardships of small business. I am grateful that EPJ is still here. Will I go on forever? No. But for now, EPJ is here. Thank you life, and Happy Anniversary to EPJ!
Over the past 20 years, I have posted stories that my Grandmother told me throughout childhood in blog and post form via the internet. These stories always had a reason, a lesson, or underlining truth that would reveal itself more and more with each year. These stories were her speak. My Grandma and I started to document them in 2006, and my outlines of childhood recall became more detailed with her help.
Unfortunately, she passed away in 2010 before the book was complete. Through research and investigation, I finished this book in 2016. It was satisfying to see this goal because it was not only my goal but also my Grandmother’s goal. Even with this incredible feat, I didn’t feel it was complete. I felt like she was calling me to complete one final task for her. I knew I needed to connect with her family members, who were the beginning of her story. Her personal Chapter One that I had not fully seen with my eyes. So much became clear when I connected with these ties; the dots also connected like star constellations in the sky. Stories were her salvation. They were metaphors for secrets and recipes for magic spells.
My Grandmother was such a unique human. She was more than amazing; she was one of my favorite people. I saw her as a Demi-Goddess. Her stories from her isolated upbringing in the Ozarks and the spark of magic she possessed in her eyes were all the wonder I ever needed as a child. Her human experience was multi-faceted and played a soundtrack of many hardships. Her spiritual experience was her truth, and she struggled to find her magical song in a world made of anti-magic. She always said, “I wish people understood me as you did.” It is time Grandma, time the world saw you through my eyes.
Thank you to all of you that loved my Grandmother and loved following her stories over the years. She always loved your comments and kept all the cards you sent to her. All of you made her last years on this plane a very bright and sunny time. Her favorite kind of day… hot, sunny, and so very warm. Many Bright Blessings to all of you.
“Tell them all about me. Let me live long after I am gone because I won’t be coming back. I am going to some planet where all the spaceships come from.” – Veda
What do you expect when buying a crystal? Did you buy it because you searched for a crystal to save you? Instantly? When you buy a toaster, you open the box and plug it in. When you buy a cell phone, it is new or refurbished therefore; it has been cleared. Then you plug it in to charge, you then turn it on, and program it with all of the apps you wish to use.
People do less with their crystals yet expect far more. They expect magic without even charging, programming, and clearing. They know more about their cell phone capabilities and software than about their crystal’s chemical structure. Yet, instant gratification is expected.
Just buying the gym membership won’t get you the results you want. Buying a guitar does not make you an amazing musician. Buying a deck of tarot cards doesn’t make you a knowledgeable tarot reader. You must work. Something cannot and never has come from nothing.
Yes, the Crystal has an energy and will change or shift your energy when you interact with it. But you must exercise it for the effects to last and amplify. Instant gratification will not come with crystals. Like anything seen in this world, it comes with care, maintenance, learning, and time.
This book has not been written to tell you about what crystals do; it was written to tell you how they work. They are unique relationships tying us to the earth. Friendships that never die. Always loyal, always familiar.
There are two editions of this book available.
The Patreon’s Artist Edition Hardcover Book can still be purchased through Patreon Subscription here: www.Patreon.com/Evil_Pawn_Jewelry
I often see the word “Amulet” next to a beautiful object. Usually a necklace. Usually something grand. Question. Is it truly an amulet? The same can be said for the word “Talisman,” and the same question stands. What is a Talisman? Can it be both? The answer is Yes and No. Most of these times, I have seen these words used; they are misused. In reality, it seems like a “fashionable way” to describe a necklace, but in my humble opinion, it is misleading.
So what is an Amulet? What is a Talisman? And what is the difference? This booklet will describe the difference between the two meanings and the symbols behind The Hex Breaker Amulet series.
Hex Breaker: The Science of Talisman and Amulets Booklet is available here:
Dārza Māte is the Latvian Goddess of gardens and green thumbs. She is the overseer of Motherly relationships. Mother to children as to Gardener to plants. She cultivates your own personal growth like a well tended garden. The provider of all you need; the sun, the moon, water, and soil. Every flower bears her name and you will bloom under her watchful eye.
She is the giver of what is needed and was often referred to as the “one who feeds.” She is the bringer of the seed that produces. A grantor of abundance in all ways possible.
“I am that which was and is and will ever be, and no mortal has yet lifted the veil which covers me.”
Today’s spotlight is on a goddess with many names and a face that has been seen many places. Most know her as Isis, goddess of Egypt. Her presence is seen in every culture and in each culture she is a goddess of magic. Isis is more than a mother Goddess of magick, she is a representation of the great mystery of the feminine. She represents the darkest and lightest parts of ourselves that we haven’t unleashed yet. We are the Phoenix that has not risen, but lays quietly in the ash awaiting her time. Isis represents our risen potential. She is all of the magick you possess and all of the glory that it brings.
Her crystals are Rose Quartz, Lapis Lazuli, and Quartz. All three sustainably sourced from Egypt with hands of Integrity. By celebrating her, we are remembering that we have not even scratched the surfaces of the unknown. We has a people have much to learn, because we have so much to learn about the ourselves.
I thank everyone who lent their hand to this project.
BahArak Shah – Historic Archeologist, Contributor
Zara Hadid – Cultural Anthropologist, Contributor
Aleah Yousefi Andrews – Masters in Middle Eastern Studies with an emphasis on societies and cultures, Contributor
Trista Hassan Cartwright – Third year Egyptologist and speaker
Tamra Zemaitis Goodwin – A Muse, A reminder to me everyday to look deeper into the layers of the self, Contributor of inspiration, and the one and only RaRa
Over the years, EPJ has been asked many questions about adjustable rings and I am posting a super long blog on Patreon about the years of adjusted rings. This one is short and sweet.
First of all, the perks of adjustable rings are vast but there was more method behind the madness than just perks. A long time ago, three friends and I were at a mall store (yes those things were real) and we were looking at beautiful rings inside a case. My friend asked to see one of the rings, and the lady behind the counter got super rude. “All of the rings are only a size 7. If you want it you have to pay to have it sized.” My friend that asked was a US size 13 ring finger. My other two friends were sizes 6 and 9. I was a size 4.5. I thought about how weird it is that everything is “average size” and it took me into a world of overthinking. In my years of being a jeweler, not just for large jewelry stores but for small Mom/Pop shops and then my own, I had witnessed the more “average size” if there was one… being a size 9 or 9.5. Not a size 7. How do they determine “average” anyway? To me, there is no standard or average. Human beings are just human. That is it. The shapes and sizes we take on are more “meant to be” and aren’t wrong and most definitely shouldn’t be rated on scales like “average to not-so-average.” What a strange world we live in. What a strange thought that anyone should be the same as someone else or be compared to them in some way. I am forever in awe of this strange place.
The adjustable rings took many shapes over the years before they stayed in the tree of life shank style. I like the idea of being able to be human. Ya know, gain some weight, shed some weight, experience swelling from some outdoor work, a late night hanging out with friends, a cold day in December when your rings just want to fall off. Ya know, breath… and being able to wear my rings. Sizing isn’t cheap. Sterling silver adjustable bands wear down and break easily after adjusting only a few times. SO I shied away from sterling early in the EPJ days. Stainless steel is made to last. Being hypoallergenic stainless steel makes the shank another way anyone can wear it at any time in their lives.
For some time a viral video was on YouTube on how to adjust your EPJ rings. It wasn’t some amazing revelation that made it a popular video. The thing that made it somewhat viral was because myself and my best friend were being hilarious while doing the video. Not professional at all. We were just being so silly. Eventually I took the video down because I really needed to make one that was shorter and more to the point. I tend to get really silly sometimes, but hey, there is that human thing again.
So here is a step-by-step on how to adjust your ring at home. You can always email CustomerService@EvilPawnJewelry.com to have us do this for you. I am always willing to adjust your rings. It is always free, you just pay to ship. Much cheaper than having them sized.
You will need:
A wash cloth
2 pairs of needle nose pliers
A ring mandrel if you have one but it is not necessary if you don’t.
To make your ring larger:
If you have a ring mandrel, this is the easiest thing in the world. If not it can take a little more time and skill. First, if you have a ring mandrel, slide the ring down the sizer and push it down. When doing this the ring will open up. You can use the needle nose pliers to shape the ring if needed, just remember to use the washcloth between the ring and the pliers to prevent scratching. If you are more crafty, you can also shape your ring with a Nylon Rubber Jeweler’s Hammer.
If you do not have a mandrel, you will have to open the ring with your needle nose pliers. Start from the side that connects to the top of the ring. Pull out in small paces all the way down the ring to the middle. If your adjustable ring has an arm, you can also pull the arm out and tuck the end as you see fit.
To make your ring smaller:
To make your ring smaller, it is just a matter os squeezing the band inwards. You may wish to use the washcloth and the needle nose pliers. Remember to use the washcloth between the ring and the pliers to prevent scratching.
If you are not wishing to size your ring yourself, just write type your size in the note section of your order. You can also email us at CustomerService@EvilPawnJewelry.com if you place an order and forget your size. Once your ring is sized to your preferred size, you can easily open it or close it down through weight gain, weightloss, swelling, or weather changes. Remember, anytime you need us to help, we are just an email away!
Today’s Goddess Spotlight is on the Great Primordial Veiled One, Nerthus. The last known recorded source gave us a “female” Goddess who was pulled along the countryside on a wagon drawn by cows. Shrouded in mystery, a veil covered the deity’s face, and this in itself gave many clues to the prior knowledge of Nerthus before much of this knowledge was destroyed. There is much mystery put upon Nerthus surrounding the deity’s gender, like many others, I prefer to call Nerthus Goddexx. As an elder goddexx, of the Earth, keeping the secrets of the world. Some sources say she is the Mother of Freyja and Frey. Some sources suggest that Nerthus begot them by herself. Originally a sexless deity, able to be the seed and carry life by the self. Similar to the plant life of this Earth in relation to the Earth’s soil. Sometimes said to be Njörd, the male god of the sea or his “nameless” wife, prior to this Nerthus was documented as both genders (a hermaphroditic deity) until the Christianization of Scandinavia. Whether the goddexx was hermaphroditic, changed over time by religion, or Nonbinary; it is clear that the primordial energies are older than gender roles. The animal consorts of Nerthus are the red fox and the wood frog. The true crystal of Nerthus is blue lace agate. Now considered in many circles a Nonbinary Goddexx and the keeper of the secrets of the Earth and our true origins.
Please see the introductory of The Goddess Collection blog for info about the contributors of this project and their credits. This necklace will be available for a limited time. Many Bright Blessings and Happy Week’s End!
Guan Yin has been a constant presence in my life since the beginning. Friends from my childhood know that my cousin’s family had a large 4-foot statue of Guan Yin in their yard. In addition, my Grandmother had a 2-feet high statue of Guan Yin in her yard alongside other stone deities. In my youth, we made frequent visits to the Nelson-Atkins Museum to visit their massive 8-foot Guan Yin they have owned since the 30s. (Go visit the Nelson when you can if you haven’t yet.)
When I asked my dear friend and cousin Candice Wang what deity she wanted to see in the Goddess Collection, she said “Guan Yin of the Southern Sea.” I already knew what she was going to say and I smiled before she even spoke. I gave the project over to Candice and Karen to design. See the blog on the website to learn more about the charity Candice and Karen picked to benefit from this collaboration. Her image was a design by the contributors to this project. Both contributors were inspired by the Guan Yin Bodhisattva Statue of the South China Sea in Sanya, Hainan. Their design takes my breath away. Thank you, ladies, it has been an honor.
Guan Yin is the Bodhisattva of mercy, peace, wisdom, and luck. She is associated with compassion and known as “The Goddess of Mercy.” Bodhisattvas are enlightened beings who have decided to hold off transcending in order to help others attain enlightenment. The name of the Goddess literally means “observing sound” or cries. The one who perceives the sounds of the world. Those who are in need. Her hand is of great mercy and comfort. Guan Yin is described as a Bodhisattva that can take on any form. “She can transform into a male, female, adult, child, elder, human, or non-human, in order to teach the Dharma.” Guan Yin has 33 different manifestations according to the Threefold Lotus Sutra. By the 12th century the Bodhisattva was represented mostly as female, but do not forget the transformation abilities possessed by the One Who Perceives Sound. Guan Yin is considered to be the embodiment of kindness, compassion, and nurturing. The “patroness” of mothers, those in need, and sailors. To me, this is just the beginning verse to the song of Guan Yin.
